Last Christmas, I gave this to a very dear friend of mine whom I consider every bit as family as my mom is. Now, you’ve heard it said that blood is thicker than water, but what if I tell you that’s not always the case?
My mom has always had to play both roles of mother and father. She was a single parent who worked hard and loved her children, but she was away most nights due to work. I was fortunate to have family to step in when needed; my brother filled in to help watch me while Mom was at work.
While I am glad to say that my mom is amazing, recently having been able to become a full-time mother and grandmother, my mother doesn’t serve as my sounding block. I find myself sharing my teenage thoughts with others; it seems to save her from stress. I know my mom tries hard, but I am doubly blessed to have people who were able to step into my life. They are still in my life today.
In addition to my mother, I have others who share that role for me -- who brag about my report card to their coworkers, people who are making sure I’m taking care of myself -- mentally and physically. I have people who I’d consider asking to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day, who makes dumb jokes and stupid puns, or is there to greet my date at the door and give them the “talk.” I am blessed to have found a home away from home for me to escape to when the world is too loud, someone who takes me in as family, even if I’m not related by blood. I have someone to teach me how to drive and how to cook, someone to turn to for advice or just to vent, and someone who wants me to be the best ME that I can be. I find myself feeling welcomed and loved -- unconditionally.
For some, surrogate parents take the form of a stepdad or a stepmom; for others, it’s a sibling, but for me, it was a young couple who became that second family that I really needed.
In whatever form, “Blood is thicker than water” is false. Sometimes, it’s the life-giving water who can also provide that love and support, and I appreciate them.
In the end, family is made up of love -- you choose your family, it’s not written in your DNA. For ALL of my parents, blood and water, I choose to take their best qualities with me into adulthood. Finding these people does not mean I love my blood family any less, it’s just that I have allowed my definition of "family" to grow in more than one way.
Maybe water can be just as thick as blood?
Maybe water can be just as thick as blood?
“DNA doesn’t make a family; love does.” - The Fosters, Lena Adams-Foster
